Last week I finally decided to try faux locs and things didn’t go exactly as planned. But in the end, it was all worth it because I now feel like a 2017 caucasian with my fake dreads and super confidence. I’d also like to thank Joanna the Scammer for giving caucasian so much new meaning. Now let me tell you guys about my journey to Jafakin (a play on Jamaican if you missed that) and my new favorite protective style. The new video is at the end of this post!
Story Time: Silk Locs & the Stolen iPhone
I looked in the mirror last week and said, “It’s time .” In the most dramatic way possible I snatched my baby girl up and burst out the door heading straight to the beauty supply store. This is necessary because I change my mind quite often and didn’t want to risk it. In search of a brand featured in a youtube video and simultaneously mouthing “you better not run” to my kid, I came across the only faux locs available. I was feeling discouraged because I’ve never heard of this particular brand but the flyer said it was on sale which instantly made me happy again. You know how cheap impulse shoppers are if there was a sale sign on a paper clip we’d find a reason to buy it.
I made my purchase and skipped out the store, checking for all the important things like my phone, my keys, and my baby. Here is where things get real. I couldn’t find my brand new iPhone! I’m panicking and telling myself go ahead and cry a little but the other me is like storm back in there looking crazy and scared. Guess who won? So I ran back in the store looking like I had just escaped captivity and didn’t know my name or location. The cashier is like, “Are you ok” and I replied “No, I can’t find my phone! Another worker asked for my number so he could call the phone and of course I don’t know my own number. Don’t ask.
So, I left the store and rushed my behind home like I left something on the stove on. The entire time I’m thinking “I bet it was that chick that looked at me, or maybe the cashier took it, yeah it was that damn cashier”. I was convinced when I got home I was going on Find My iPhone and who ever had was going to PRISON. Ok a little dramatic, but you guys don’t know what I’ve been through. I dropped my last iPhone in the toilet and my temporary phone was so bootleg I could only fit 2 Apps on it. Anyway, the minute I opened my front door I noticed my phone sitting on the table, comfortably and apparently not the cashier’s pocket. So now I’m apologizing to all the people I blamed for stealing my phone, kissing my baby (the real one) and saying a silent prayer.
All this for four packs of faux silk locs. This is 2017. And this is my new Vlog reviewing Afri Naptural Silk Dreads.