Lessons Learned While Raising My Second Child

lessons from motherhood
lessons learned with the second child

Raising My Second Child Taught Me…

Boys vs Girls

There’s no difference. I repeat, there’s no difference! People always say “Boys are so much easier to deal with”. Where? Of course, they have different issues however, the way I see it stress is stress. Crying is crying and these diapers smell the same. Well not exactly the same. Formula fed babies smell even more atrocious compared to breastfed babies. Point is ,don’t believe the hype people. My son wakes up with mental notes of what he will destroy. It’s like he plans his day in his dreams and to his credit he’s no procrastinator. One morning he woke up at 8:30 and by 8:49 he was pouring a bottle water on my laptop. See what I mean in less than 20 minutes he proved to already understand the value of time. Now someone has to teach him the value of money . Oh wait, that’s my job. I guess that first paycheck should cover a nice laptop for myself in 14 years. Yayy! I’ll finally get that MacBook.

With lots of prayer I’m hoping my baby girl’s terrible twos aren’t so terrible. But, if you thought there were any major differences in my son as a newborn and daughter, you’re wrong. Don’t get me wrong all babies are different. However, boys and girls will equally make you question motherhood, cry , consider hiding and smile when you realize how innocent they really are. Yeah they aren’t so bad all the time. Children have this way of making you laugh right in the middle of stressing you out.

Huggies vs Luvs

With my first (Kaiden) he wore Huggies until he was one. When you’re a first time parent you usually go with the big brands and whatever dream they sell. Huggies had fewer leaks compared to Pampers in my experience. A positive with both brands is, they have a rewards program and lots of coupons. I stopped using Huggies when Kaiden turned one because, by then sensitive skin wasn’t a big issue. Parents often worry about breakouts and things of this nature. The first cheaper diaper brand experience was with the CVS brand. I received them for free (insurance rewards) and to my surprise I had no issues. Turns out you don’t need the big name for quality. Eventually, I just ended buying Luvs for Kaiden due to more convenience-I can buy while grocery shopping. When Syriah was born I decided LUVS would work for her as well. I’ve dealt with leakage from both Pampers and Huggies. So far none of things have been an issue with the LUVS brand. So they have met all our important needs and the price is right.

Spoiling vs Budget

So the first child is coming, you’re excited and you want them to have everything imaginable. In your mind you’re going to clean out BUY BUY BABY or BabiesRUs and you make a strong effort to. Then, the baby turns one and you haven’t used half the stuff you bought. Then the second child comes and you realize how much money you wasted on the first. This is my life. I have a wipe warmer that I’ve yet to use with either kid. My son grew out of clothes faster than he can wear them, had way too many towels and hated his bouncer. I told myself I was going to make all his food at home using a baby blender. By the way, it’s a regular blender just smaller. Well duh! The marketing is genius behind products for children. He had homemade baby food for about two weeks. So, I learned my lesson. If you’re not committed to be being the Martha Stewart’s of mothers , save your coins. The things they advertise to new parents, it’s all a trap. Don’t fall for any of it!

Breast fed vs Bottle Feed

Breast is best they said. It gets better they said. This is true. However, it hurts like a b@&!* at first. By at first, I do mean for the first 2 months. I almost gave up many times but, I didn’t. Through low milk, engorgement, soreness and clogged ducts. I kept going. They say it only hurts if, the baby is latches on wrong. Lies! I wanted to cry so many times. I remember having to psych myself up before each feeding. Just thinking “ok, it won’t hurt so bad this time” while wincing at the pain. But, I thugged it out for the kid. Let me just say it does actually get better. It’s so much cheaper and more convenient once you become comfortable nursing in public. ¬†The bonding also great and that’s something harder to get when bottle feeding. I’m not saying there is no bonding with bottle feeding. However, there’s a lot of temptation to attempt to do other things. I’m sure we’ve all attempted to prop a bottle up so we can quickly do something we’ve been trying to get to all day. That’s obviously not an option while nursing. Also you can’t help but to stare at a baby staring at you while they feed. My daughter always thinks I’m playing with her so she’ll stop eating every minute so she can laugh with me. And my heart melts even though this causes the feeding to be really long. Did I forget to mention that breastfeeding took forever at first, this also gets better with time.
I bottle fed my first, I couldn’t get him to latch for nothing. Bottle feeding was so annoying. I’d rather the pain of breastfeeding any day. The washing, drying, prepping, mixing, cooling, heating, carrying. Yeah, stressful! I used Dr. Browns bottles that are about 5 parts per bottle. Imagine cleaning all those parts and multiple bottles twice a day. What would upset me the most was realizing that the bottle had so many little parts to clean that it wasn’t always cleaned right. This was my first child, I’m thinking “OMG, my baby is going to get sick from this damn bottle.” I eventually got rid of those and bought ¬†Avent brand. They’re cheaper and easier to clean. I also use to carry hot water in a thermos to mix bottles in public. It wasn’t so bad just made his bag really heavy. Of all of this, the preparing milk while half asleep at 3 a.m. was the worst. I messed up so many bottles by adding too much water because, I barely could open my eyes. Like I said this was my first child. I’m thinking “OMG, he’s not going to get the right amount of nutrition” and ” I’m taking to long to mix this bottle, my baby is starving.” LOL. I’m one of those mothers that’s always googling. Lesson here is breastfeeding is so much easier, just whip it out and you’re good to go. No mixing and nothing to clean… Well you know what I mean. Funny thing is once babies learn to latch , they will without your permission!

Shanae WIldgoose

Lifestyle Blogger, Mom of 2, Bahamian, Creative


  1. Perfect post. I made sure not to buy any new clothes for my first. Unless it was socks, shoes or underwear of course. Honestly, buying super new clothes is a waste of time and money!

    The other thing is that they don't even know the difference!

    Great post!


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